Posted by
chantel leanna
at
6:25 PM
The worst part is that you think I don't care about you. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you that I love you back. I'm sorry that you are willing to give me another chance, a chance I don't want.
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No, I think you care. Just not the extent that I do. It also makes me very upset that we are not together, but I guess that is life. Today someone at work asked if I was going to give up that easy. I'm not sure what to think, you seem to be moving on just fine while I'm stuck in my room waiting to feel good enough to have a conversation with someone without it involving my self loathing personality.
Why don't you want the second chance? It took me a lot to tell you that I could give you a second chance. It took everything I had to be able to say that I could forgive you. In fact, I knew I couldn't even forgive you any time soon, but I knew that I would eventually get over it. But you denied me even then. Do you know how much that hurts? I don't think you do. But it takes a lot to bite the bullet when your heart has been broken and you feel betrayed, but I still did because you were the best thing to ever happen to me, but you won't listen to me. I guess it's too late anyways and I'll just learn to be alone.
My heart was broken when I found out you kissed another boy. I don't know any details other than that Matt isn't 100% gay, you were the worst kind of drunk, and that even after the fact you showed no compassion. I could have gotten over this all I think if you could answer your phone. But you didn't, because you were passed out drunk or busy taking pictures of Matt licking whipped cream off your boobs.
It makes me more mad that you post in your surveys that you could 'last in a relationship longer if the person was right for you', that makes me feel like chopped liver. I quit my job because I don't have the energy to do anything anymore. You might think I'm exaggerating but I have eaten 2 and a half small meals since Saturday afternoon. I legitimately can't see a week ahead of me, and every day is spent wasted hating myself in bed.
Why don't you want my chance anyways? I really really want to know.
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