This makes me wonder who stole my pumpkin from my party, and what they did with it. 

(240): Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present. 

Luv Halloween TFLN 

(608): Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

(484): I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.

(402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.